PoetrySz (poetry es zed) demystifying mental illness Issue 6

bio:

That was a collection written over eight years. Many a lonesome night pen in hand. I hope my poems and writing can explain or give the reader a sense of what I've been through and encountered in my 24 years. The rest are purposefully designed to make sure I never forget or regret my creative past... experimental. And if my writing brings happiness or a sense of deja-vu to others out there with a mental illness, it's job has been done. Listening to wide range of different music is my muse. Colin Van Der Woude... age 24

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Feel Low

I cannot remember something;
hurt so hard and fight it to begin
and believe I try to recover
to recollect memories within

A vague distant night
morning the end of delight
feeling mellow
I hear them singing:
for he's a jolly good fellow'
as I encounter feel-low

Alone with myself
at one with inner love
she, with a vacant stare of hope
swirls emotion behind her dream eyes
"useless, useless - I cannot cope!"
her words but whispers between cries.

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Reciprocal Love

Herbal insecticide breathes
old man losing innocence he never had
nothing to start with
sure as something to end with

He hung himself from the old apricot tree
ever since that fateful day
apricots have never fallen
only his body rots on the ground below.

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Invading Points of Structured Light

I can feel sound decomposing
and filling with a rotten substance
today I bled on rose thorn
tomorrow I never remember

I've also heard the sound of death
for I need guidance
shattered sense of misgiving
the isolated hymn for peace
the excited expectation
I have the right to disintegrate
where the bird fell

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